With it being such a wonderful day, the entire college campus was outside soaking up the fantastic, or rather pathetic, Midwestern spring. My southern friends laugh at me when I say that the weather is beautiful because they are used to far better weather. When I walk outside, I see bodies strewn all across the lawn, faces up with sunglasses shielding their eyes. I see another group loitering in another area. There is a strange dynamic among them; I notice an odd distance between the people in the group. Then a strange thought crosses my mind. I'm going to do my own little social experiment.

Knowing no one in the group, I decide to walk right into their social connect-the-dot group. Judging by the slightly puzzled looks on their faces, they are surprised and a little confused by my forwardness. The next thing I know, the group rearranges their diagram to let me in. Once again, still awkwardly spread out. The conversation is about guilty pleasure music from the '90s, which is one of my favorite topics. So, of course, I jump in with some of my favorite ridiculous tunes in my collection. Very soon after, the group breaks off one by one, and before I know it, everyone is back inside. I check the time and figure out that there were no classes starting. So, why did the group break up so quickly? Did my intrusion make the situation uncomfortable? Who knows, I just love my odd social studies.

I wonder if this was a fluke situation or if everyone is really that shy. The usual greeting among my foreign friends tends to be a big bear hug followed by a conversation within close proximity. It really isn't a difference, it is really more of an opposition. My foreign friends are the exact opposite of my American friends. I suppose I'm simply used to that type of social interaction and that is why this strange encounter was somewhat of a curveball. I look forward to partaking in more proximal studies--possibly in different settings--in the very near future.

Peace, Love and Good Juju,
The Disappointed Idealist

Everyone at some point in their life will feel the need to pass judgment on others. Let's be serious, it has happened to everyone more than once. Many people will lose a friend, a significant other, or in extreme cases, a son or daughter due to a lack of understanding. Even though sometimes it is necessary, it does have the power to ruin a perfectly good relationship. Often times, people will let their judgment interfere with a good thing. I imagine that some will share their opinions in hopes that their friend or loved one will re-adjust their actions or way of thinking about things. However, what the opinionated person doesn't understand is, actions speak volumes about character. One's opinion won't change their way of life. By sharing concern, it may have a negative affect that won't hurt anyone but the person doing the judging.

Sometimes, reasons for concern are needed. When someone's life is in danger due to a poor decision, I know sometimes it is hard not to interfere. We all want to help, even though it may come back to bite us in the end. But it gets sticky when people's own beliefs interfere in matters that are not life threatening or life altering. The question then becomes, when is it right to interfere in the lives of others?

Part of being unique is having a distinct set of morals. In my experience, people with similar beliefs gravitate towards each other. It is the only way to truly get along. When someone else's values directly counteract with mine, it is tough to overcome such a duality. A phrase I often find myself mulling over is opposites attract. While I don't completely disagree with this statement, I feel like the definition should be two-fold. Yes, people do attract others who are different from themselves. I know I could never spend my entire life with someone who is identical to myself. But I would also go crazy if my partner disagreed with everything I believe in.

Everything boils down to how much conflict one can deal with at a time. Everyone is forced to put on their socially acceptable oxygen masks. Everyone is forced to keep some things to themselves. We have to reserve our judgment otherwise we would be alone, forced to live the life of a social outcast. Without a finely tuned filter, we would be alone.

Peace, Love, and Good Juju,
The Disappointed Idealist

Abraham Maslow created the hierarchy of needs, a five step pyramid that leads to the highest state of being, self-actualization. Maslow believed the most basic needs are physiological, such as food, water, shelter, sex, and sleep. The next level in the pyramid is safety, meaning financial stability, health, well-being and personal security. The third level of the hierarchy stresses the importance of social needs, like family, friendship and intimacy. The fourth level of the hierarchy focuses of esteem. And at the final level of the hierarchy is what Maslow referred to as Self-Actualization. Maslow believes we cannot reach Self-Actualization until we have satisfied all of the other needs.

This makes sense; we need food, water, human contact, etc. But does everyone have the opportunity to reach Self-Actualization? If everyone does reach that level, does it last throughout their entire lives or do we fall back down the ladder we just climbed? Most people go through ups and downs in their life, they lose family, friends, they are unable to afford shelter, but then there are up swings where they are able to get control of things again and regain some of the things they lost. I wonder if we aren't just playing a mean game of Chutes and Ladders. We work hard just to slide down the ladder again.

I also have to wonder if we can boil such a large topic down to a small chart. I think Self-Actualization means something different to everyone--that is part of what makes us unique individuals. While everyone does need basic necessities like food and water, some people have a different idea of what else they need in their life. The nice thing behind this rigid idea is the knowledge that you are just one of the many people working towards this higher state of consciousness. Some people wait patiently for it, other are more interested in challenging life to a duel.

Peace, Love, and Good Juju,
The Disappointed Idealist