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Got My List
Posted by Tanya
on
8:00 PM
Sometimes, lists can kill you. Plans can kill you. Some people can live by not planning and predicting the future. People with type A personalities can’t help but figure out their to-do lists, some for the day, and some for the near future and some for the future that is far out of sight. Alongside the detailed lists usually comes a person who over thinks everything. The person who can’t do anything without first thinking about what reaction might come out of their action.
Unfortunately, I am unable to live my life without a list. A friend and I finished talking about dealing with things that are out of our control. Then we got onto the topic of summer. I explained that I am going to have a great carefree summer; I said I was going to tan, live out of a beach bag, and make a couple bad decisions. Then I noticed a smirk slowly appear on his face which turned into a giggle. He noticed the confused look on my face and then told me that I had already planned out my bad decisions. I planned to be spontaneous.
I didn’t think about it like that at first but I realized he was absolutely right. I can’t help but make a plan for everything in my life. Without my cell phone calendar on hand, I think I might fall in a catatonic state. I have everything planned down to the last second. I make to-do lists that cover everything right down to sleep. I could say I do this because I like bringing order to chaos but I don’t know if that’s actually accurate. Maybe it’s not so much that I like order in my life, maybe I am just trying not to mess anything up. By knowing my every move before I make it, I can figure out what the consequence may be. Theoretically, this isn’t a bad thing. But do my lists interfere with my ability to have fun?
This kind of reminds me of a song called Got My List from an obscure independent movie called Dakota Skye. There’s a phrase in the song that plays over and over in my head like a broken record. One more day we’ve made it through now, got my list, got my list. I like how that sounds, and while I appreciate its attitude, I don’t think it quite applies to me. I can’t take life a day at a time.
Character flaw? Probably. It makes me think that I should change it. But, once again, I’m using that dirty word. I am planning to change that part of myself. I hate that it has become a habit that I can’t kick.
Unfortunately, I am unable to live my life without a list. A friend and I finished talking about dealing with things that are out of our control. Then we got onto the topic of summer. I explained that I am going to have a great carefree summer; I said I was going to tan, live out of a beach bag, and make a couple bad decisions. Then I noticed a smirk slowly appear on his face which turned into a giggle. He noticed the confused look on my face and then told me that I had already planned out my bad decisions. I planned to be spontaneous.
I didn’t think about it like that at first but I realized he was absolutely right. I can’t help but make a plan for everything in my life. Without my cell phone calendar on hand, I think I might fall in a catatonic state. I have everything planned down to the last second. I make to-do lists that cover everything right down to sleep. I could say I do this because I like bringing order to chaos but I don’t know if that’s actually accurate. Maybe it’s not so much that I like order in my life, maybe I am just trying not to mess anything up. By knowing my every move before I make it, I can figure out what the consequence may be. Theoretically, this isn’t a bad thing. But do my lists interfere with my ability to have fun?
This kind of reminds me of a song called Got My List from an obscure independent movie called Dakota Skye. There’s a phrase in the song that plays over and over in my head like a broken record. One more day we’ve made it through now, got my list, got my list. I like how that sounds, and while I appreciate its attitude, I don’t think it quite applies to me. I can’t take life a day at a time.
Character flaw? Probably. It makes me think that I should change it. But, once again, I’m using that dirty word. I am planning to change that part of myself. I hate that it has become a habit that I can’t kick.
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